It's like a taper

Any endurance athlete who tapers before a race will tell you how awful it makes them feel. When your body is used to moving a lot, suddenly dialing it back or stopping feels AWFUL. It's Roger that equated how I was feeling with a taper. Turns out, I need to move. My doctor encouraged it and I kept thinking I needed to rest and yes, I do need to do that too, but I also need to keep things moving. 

Yesterday I was feeling pretty blah but felt much better after a short walk. This morning I woke up feeling horrible again. I'm still super swollen and I woke up with my right hand swollen as well. I made myself breakfast (a protein smoothie and a bowl of corn flakes) and was so beat afterwards that I had to lie down and rest. So I thought maybe I overdid it. I spoke with my surgeon's nurse and explained everything and she said that I should be turning a corner today and to be patient. She also said it sound like I have a seroma. The body apparently doesn't like an empty place where stuff used to be so it ever so helpfully filled it with fluid instead. They really don't want to mess with it (and invite infection) so we're going to hope it reabsorbs soon. 

In the meantime, I got myself out of bed and sat down at my desk and decided to work on some new SilverSneakers choreography. Turns out some very light, mostly seated SilverSneakers practice was just what I needed and I felt better almost immediately. Then Roger and I went out for a walk and I walked much faster than yesterday and felt much better. 

So it turned out my lack of energy was just that horrible feeling you get during a taper. I know, don't overdo it! I won't. 

While I was on with the nurse, she said my pathology report came back. The tumor was 9mm. When I was first diagnosed, they estimated it in imaging (MRI) at 6mm but my doctor said she thought they actually got most of it when they did the biopsy. Apparently not or maybe it grew because they found it to be 9mm. I'm just glad they caught it now. Can you imagine what it would have been like down the road? She said the margins were clear, also good news! They took 4 lymph nodes, which surprised me because she said they were only likely to take 2-3 of them. But the good news is that they were all clear too. My doctor was pretty confident that they likely would be, but this is great because it means that my current treatment plan of just radiation (and no chemo) will remain in place moving forward. What a relief!

So now I find that balance of movement and rest. I'll figure it out. (Camelot votes for rest.)