Two weeks post-op

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It's been two weeks since my surgery and everything is healing up. I taught my first Cycle class last Wednesday and my first BODYPUMP yesterday. In Cycle I'm going nice and easy and in PUMP I'm going very light, in some instances with just the bar with no weight on it. It feels so good to be back in class!

I had my followup with the surgeon on Friday and she says everything is looking good. I'm not in too much pain, but now and then I still need to take some Tylenol. It's mostly the incision at my armpit that really bothers me. The arm just moves so much! I'm trying to balance work and rest. I think I'm doing pretty well with the balance. 

Yesterday I had an appointment with the medical oncologist (I have three doctors: breast specialist/surgeon, medical oncologist, and radiation oncologist) and she told me we're waiting on some more pathology. Apparently they need to do something called Oncotype DX to get more genetic information on the cancer cells. From this, they get a score and from that score they ascertain the probability of reoccurrence. This score is the final determination on if I would need chemo. In her expert opinion, she finds it very unlikely, but they want to be 100% sure so we wait for that test to come back. 

Thursday I have an appointment with the radiation oncologist to get ready for the radiation. Radiation won't actually start until after we have that Oncotype DX number because if I did need chemo, it has to happen prior to radiation. In the meantime, I just keep healing, keep moving forward and keep paying bills. Fun times.

The last couple of weeks have been both easier and harder than I anticipated. I'm healing up quickly and I've been able to get back to exercise, which is great (no, I'm not pushing too hard, yes my surgeon has approved everything I'm doing) but I also have a ways to go to get back to where I was. And mentally, it's been a rollercoaster. It feels much more like I have cancer now that I actually feel this pain and see the bruises and the swelling and the scars. It was easy to forget prior to surgery. Now I'm constantly reminded of this. And it just feels really unfair. Everyone says, "you're so strong." Yeah, well, not always. Having this happen to me really sucks. And I'm not always strong. And then sometimes I feel badly for feeling crappy because so many have it worse: they need more treatment, they need more surgery, they have stage 2 or 3 or 4. And then I have to remind myself that it's okay to have all my feelings and I don't have to compare. But it's hard not to. 

I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I'm grateful that I can do the things that I love. And tonight in class, someone came up to me afterward and said she was thankful for the reminder to get her mammogram. She's overdue and has family history. So I can take heart that now in my classes, I'm changing lives in more ways than just one. And I have a new "why" now. 

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