"It's cancer."

"It's cancer." My heart dropped into my stomach. She reassured me that it's very treatable and was caught super early. She said, "I can't even believe the radiologist found it, it's that small." I was scheduled to follow up with her the next day. On December 30 I went into to see her. My friend Andrea went with me to help me take notes and ask questions maybe I hadn't thought of (regrettably, Andrea has too much experience with other people's cancer and she was a great person to have along). Stage 1a Invasive Ductal Carcinoma is the official diagnosis. 

Dr. Thomas again made sure to impress upon me that we caught it very early and it's very treatable. The next step would be genetic testing and an appointment was made for the following day to get that done. I'll have results in about two weeks which will dictate the course of action. If I come back positive for a mutation in either of the BRCA genes, her recommendation would be double mastectomy with reconstruction. I was handed a card for the plastic surgeon. Gulp.

If negative for the mutation, I have two choices, mastectomy on the right side or lumpectomy coupled with radiation. I'm definitely going with option two because it would put me out of commission from my classes for the least amount of time. She told me recovery would be longer and a little more difficult than last time because at the time of the lumpectomy she would also be doing a sentinel lymph node biopsy and taking two or three lymph nodes. So it will basically be two surgeries at the same time. She said she's 90% sure that the lymph nodes will come back clear, but she just doesn't want to take any chances. 

So now I wait for the genetic results and in the meantime, I have an appointment with the radiation oncologist next week and I'll also be meeting with a medical oncologist soon as well. My surgery date is set for February 1 and that date should hold regardless of what kind of surgery I need. All the while, I know that it's there. And I think about it far more than it deserves. I wouldn't say I'm worrying about it, it's just this weird awareness that there is a thing that it's right. 

And what if I hadn't had that MRI? They would have found it next year at the mammogram, but would it have been much worse/bigger? Possibly. Dr. Thomas said, "this is exactly why we've been doing all this." (In case I haven't expressed it, Dr. Thomas is amazing and I'm so lucky to have such a great doctor.) At the end of the day, it boils down to getting a mammogram every year. If I hadn't had that mammogram in 2019 and they hadn't found the ADH, I wouldn't have had the MRI and they wouldn't have found this now so early. And where would I have been? And so it all comes back to getting your mammogram. And telling the people in your life with breasts to get their mammograms.