We make the reason

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I've been a fan of Aimee Mann for a number of years and so I was pleased to be able to download and begin listening to her Words + Music podcast this morning on Audible. It came out Friday and I just happened to finish what I was listening to today and the next book in my "to-listen" list comes out tomorrow so it's the perfect in between clocking in at an hour and a half.

I haven't finished it yet, but the theme of the piece is how trauma informs art and it's called "Straw into Gold." It fits really well into my unfortunate run of events in my life lately. One thing that she was talking about early on in the podcast really resonated with me. She was examining the cliche, "everything happens for a reason." She said she really doesn't think everything happens for a reason, instead, she says, "things might just happen and then we make the reason, either out of want or necessity." If I may expand on that, I think that we look back and see how everything that happened to us fits together. Most of the time, we can see no other outcome and so it seems, everything happened for a reason. 

And how we handled the things that happened to us, that informs how things move forward and the direction we take. Ultimately we can't choose everything that happens to us and these things don't necessarily have to have reasons but they definitely inform our reactions and future course and those, ultimately, become the reasons. 

I didn't get cancer for a reason. But later, down the road, there will be things that happen that are positive as a result of me having had cancer. Indeed, it may have already happened. I've been contacted by a non-zero number of you who have told me you have scheduled your screening mammogram or encouraged a loved one to schedule a screening after learning of my diagnosis. So there it is: a reason. 

And on trauma informing art? For me, I certainly, I think some of my early struggles have informed my music. Will these recent traumas I've experienced (and am experiencing) inform my music moving forward? I think it's possible. I certainly will need to find some kind of outlet after my surgery since I'll be sidelined from my workouts for awhile.

Speaking of surgery, I did get the results back from my genetic testing today. I am negative for all mutations in genes related to breast cancer. Yay! So this means I can choose between a mastectomy on the affected side or lumpectomy followed by radiation. I'm going with the latter as I feel it will put me out of commission for a shorter period of time. Ask me again how that choice is serving me when I'm run down from the radiation! 

This week I have appointments with two new doctors on my team (when you get cancer you get to have a whole team). I have a medical oncology appointment on Wednesday and an appointment with the radiation oncologist on Thursday. My surgery is scheduled for February 1. This means I get to do two important things: go on a weekend cruise in a couple of weeks and launch BODYPUMP 123 the weekend after that.

If you have an Audible membership and you'd like to listen to Aimee Mann's podcast, you can do so here (it's included in the membership).



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